Brother P's Eulogy

THE LOVE RICH SHARED

My name is Jeff Christian and I am Rich’s first friend.   We met in the first grade at St. Lucy School and never looked back.  True to who Rich was and his incredible sense of humor, recently I was wiping his backside and he turned to me with a big smile on his face and said, “who would have ever thought when we were first graders that we would grow up to be this close.”  He smiled again and as he always did, was gracious and thanked me for being there for him.  

We experienced so much of life together and as the circle of life rounds for us all…it is my great honor to stand on this day and speak on behalf of my best friend.

We all have a different perspective and vocabulary of what Rich meant to each us.   A few words I use to describe Rich include:  son, brother, father, husband, cousin, uncle, friend, colleague, courageous, creative, full of life, happy, handsome, hilarious, incredibly talented,a lifter of people, and someone who lived for and loved his beautiful family.

Rich and his family were faced with decisions, circumstances, and challenges that to be honest, were beyond comprehension.   The past few years seemed to be one small step forward and three steps back.  But regardless of the reach of Rich’s cancerous tentacles; two things remained true, his LOVE for his family and LOVE for life itself.  

Denise, Rich loved being your husband and the past 23 years of marriage were the best years of his life.  During Rich’s illness, I wanted to hear his stories and asked him about your love story…the gist of it is you had all the pieces to his LOVE puzzle.   He was so happy to be your husband and to have raised two beautiful children together.

Ryan, your birth changed your dad’s life and provided him a sense of purpose and pride.   He couldn’t get the words out fast enough to tell everyone about your life and your accomplishments.   The relationship you two had and have is of a championship caliber and one that everyone here has admired.   You provided your dad with 21 of the best years of his life.

Kelly, for the past 15 years, your dad has loved each and every minute spent with you.   Whether it was your morning walks to feed the ducks, your horseback riding, or just snuggling on the coach watching a movie together…those were great times of your dad’s life and he loved every minute.

Leo Buscaglia stated,

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring.”  

The older I get the more I realize we often miss the value, the understanding, the sentiment, of words, so I want to make sure we capture Rich’s life in Leo’s words.

THE POWER OF A TOUCH

One of my favorite pictures of Rich and I was taken when we were probably 10 and somehow that sneaky guy got me in a headlock and was squeezing my head like a grape.  I probably didn’t necessarily enjoy it at that time but something magical was happening.  The power of touch releases the trust hormone oxytocin and whether Rich and I knew it or not, we were bonded for life.  

Fast forward 45 years and Rich was still doing the same thing – bringing people together with the power of touch.  He was always high fiving, fist bumping, side hugging, and patting you on the back…all with the intent of creating a bond.  I am guessing if I were to take a poll amongst his friends, they would all say – “RICH is my best friend.”  I would say that would be true, Rich was everyone’s best friend, he was that kind of human, and he knew the Power of Touch.

A SMILE

Rich had many gifts but one of his best was his ability to genuinely connect with people… all people.  He had a lens that allowed him to see life through the eyes of others.   Whether it was going in for surgery, chemo, radiation, being in the hospital…Rich’s smile would create space for whomever was in his presence – 100% of the people he met along his cancer journey, he made each one of them feel seen, heard, and loved… like only he could do….  with his SMILE.  

Rich is gone from this earth but all you have to do to bring back his memory, IS SMILE.

A LISTENING EAR

I think as we all unpack our lives with Rich in it, we will come to the realization that he was an incredible listener.   While Rich was going through the difficulties of his late life, all he was concerned about was how your life was going.  

My future hope for you is to LISTEN WITH YOUR HEART to some of the positive stories you and Rich shared. And from this day forward to carry Rich’s ability to truly listen…resulting in making our world better for all.

AN HONEST COMPLIMENT

Rich was the ultimate sales man.   If you didn’t know him you would think this guy is something else…but when you sat down with him, got to see his true colors, you quickly realized this guy is a throw-back – he is someone who sees the world, people, and everyday interactions from an old school point of view.  

Rich was constantly lifting people to new heights…by providing HONEST COMPLIMENTS.  He acquired this gift from his dad but he took his 55 years of life and made it his own.   I would always love to walk into a room with Rich because I knew what was about to happen.   He would remember the person’s name, a few facts about them, smile and laugh (like only he could) and then go get poked, prodded, radiated, or pumped full of dangerous chemo medications.    I never, not once, heard Rich complain…he wouldn’t waste his energy on it…he would focus on handing out as many compliments as he could and in doing so – filled his and many hearts with LOVE.  

IN CLOSING

I want to read the quote one more time because in the first reading, I intentionally left off the end.  “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring; ALL OF WHICH HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO TURN A LIFE AROUND.”

The last part of the quote speaks to all of those LOVING acts having the potential to turn a life around.   Each person standing here today has been positively affected by Rich and I think it is important to take the sadness of his death and focus on the antidote – THE EVERLASTING POWER OF HIS LOVE.  

A little before Rich died, he asked me if I could give his eulogy.  We both started crying but knew it was a conversation we needed to have.  I grabbed some tissue and told Rich it would be hard but that I would do the best I could.  He was always lifting me up and true to his character, he said - you will do me proud.

I shared one of my favorite John Alston quotes with him that states, “the only thing you take with you when you are gone, is what you leave behind.”  I then asked him, when you are gone, what is it that you want to leave behind?   Without hesitation, he stated, “I want people to have felt the love I have for them by the actions I took.”

If Rich showed you THE SMALLEST ACT OF CARING - please stand.  If Rich uttered a KIND WORD to you, please stand.  If you shared a SMILE, a TOUCH, a LISTENING EAR, or an HONEST COMPLIMENT with Rich, please stand.   As you can see, Rich filled each us with LOVE and it is THE LOVE WE SHARE that will provide light for our next step through the darkness.  

Rich, I know you are looking down and are here with us today and we want you to take our LOVE to your new HOME. WE LOVE YOU, we miss you, and may you forever rest in peace.

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